Darling you don’t sound like you’re in love with him, you sound like you’re desperately trying to hold onto pieces of affection that are firing splinters into your heart.
When your eyes are red from a night’s crying but you smile when strangers ask if you feel okay, darling that is not love.
When he shouts at you and you scream back but your cries are never as loud as his words, saying your dreams are invalid and your thoughts insane, darling that is not love.
When he expects you to give up your life to make him happy, to commit yourself to something you never wanted, please stop telling yourself it is love.
This is not love.
Love is not a chore that you need to make excuses for, that you need to say “maybe he hits me, but I know it’s out of love” or “perhaps he calls me stupid, but he makes me feel beautiful”.
Stop making excuses. This is not love."
"If you find someone who makes you smile,
Who checks up on you to see if you’re okay,
Who watches out for you and wants the very best for you,
Don’t let them go.
Keep them close and don’t take them for granted.
People like them are hard to find."
"You messaged me out of the blue.
I wasn’t looking for anyone,
In fact I was too busy running from someone else,
But I slowed down enough to reply
You slowly became my good morning text,
My drunken phone call,
My tearful FaceTime when work had wrung me out like a dirty tea towel,
And you were there,
When you visited, you fit into my house like a piece of furniture
That had always been there but I hadn’t noticed.
Your body left imprints in my mattress,
And I couldn’t stand to see them disappear when you travelled back to the other side of the country again,
So I asked you to move in after three months.
“You’ll regret it.”
“It’s too soon.”
We would giggle at the messages as we moved your teddies next to mine,
And slid your books on my shelves and your posters on my wall.
Now you are never away long enough for the dent in the pillow to vanish,
Because your head is there every evening,
Kissing me goodnight.
And all it took was
The fact that you’re struggling doesn’t make you a burden. It doesn’t make you unloveable or undesirable or undeserving of care. It doesn’t make you too much or too sensitive or too needy. It makes you human. Everyone struggles. Everyone has a difficult time coping, and at times, we all fall apart. During these times, we aren’t always easy to be around — and that’s okay. No one is easy to be around one hundred percent of the time. Yes, you may sometimes be unpleasant or difficult. And yes, you may sometimes do or say things that make the people around you feel helpless or sad. But those things aren’t all of who you are and they certainly don’t discount your worth as a human being. The truth is that you can be struggling and still be loved. You can be difficult and still be cared for. You can be less than perfect, and still be deserving of compassion and kindness."